By Jeannette Cooperman

Ninety minutes at a country club, nibbling on Danish while experts tell me about my Personal Style? I grabbed for this assignment. St. Louisans Gini Swancy and Donna Gamache, founders of Anatomy of Style (anatomyofstyle.com), ask a mere $55 to analyze a woman’s shape, color and personality, organize her closet and send her gliding to the right stores instead of trudging through the mall making mistake purchases. And part of their Speed Style proceeds go to Connections to Success, a program that helps ex-offenders get a fresh start.

I skip the Danish for the same reason cops don’t drink on the job, but my notebook’s open in time for Round I: SHAPE. I see a row of discreetly retracted measuring tapes and clutch. The woman to my right, Kris, has already risen bravely. “Y’know, my dear, based on this, I’d say you’re an ‘hourglass,’” Gamache tells her, handing her pages for her purse-sized Personal Style binder that show every silhouette that will enhance her already lovely figure.

I rise gamely. Seeing my face, Kris says nonchalantly, “It’s just a body. It’s just numbers.” I shoot her a look I haven’t used since sophomore year in high school. Bunching in my favorite dress to measure my waist, Gamache murmurs, “You should have this altered. Wearing things too big can make us look larger.” Lisa, on my left, says sweetly, “Triangle is the old pear.”

At the STYLE table, we take a personality test. To my abject horror, I am Romantic. The blondes on each side of me are Alluring. I want to be Alluring. “I’m an Alluring Dramatic,” Gamache says. “I like color, I like trends.” Puce ruffles for me, eh? I scan my profile. Hates scratchy lace. Spurns high heels. Likes to be comfortable. Finds coats boring. 

Shit. It’s all true.

I go to the COLOR table. “We’re going to drape you,” Swancy announces. She’s developed a Philosophy of Four: Organized women base their wardrobe on four foundation colors. I think ruefully of the miscellany crammed in my closet. “Just because it’s on sale doesn’t mean you need it,” Swancy says dryly. She invented “capsules” to hang coordinating clothes together in the closet; they come off the rod as a unit and, turned vertical, layer the clothes in a hanger bag for travel. The catch? You have to weed out the stuff that can’t be encapsulated.

“We all make mistake purchases,” Swancy says. “Maybe you think your friend’s style is fabulous and try to copy it. But if you dress outside your comfort zone, it doesn’t feel natural, and you fidget. And if you upgrade and buy expensive, still not understanding what really works for you, it’s like guilt hanging in your closet.”

She and Gamache email clients about local stores, designers, sales or specific items perfect for them. Me, I now know which colors to choose, which cuts and fabrics will flatter me and match my Personal Style.

I glance wistfully at Kris’ binder.

Speed Style gurus do a drive-by:

When a stylist tells you to wear one color from head to toe for slimming effect, she doesn't mean denim. These sleeves have just got to be shortened, and the jeans need to go. Switch to a wide-leg khaki pant and add a leather bag with a little color to "pop" this outfit.

This woman's skirt is a good length: The hem stops in the middle of her knee, which emphasizes her shapely legs. But the rest of the outfit? That boxy, loose-fitting shirt hides her shape, and yes, walking the city streets calls for comfort, but honestly! Add a shrunken jacket and a low heel and this outfit would work.

This woman's a triangle, so it's hard to carry off a long jacket. She has a very small ribcage and waist; if her jacket stopped just below her navel and she paired it with a dark pant in a fluid fabric, she'd look 20 pounds thinner. About the shoes ... I'm sure it's a lunchtime look, but it makes her legs look heavy. Leave the gym shoes in the gym.